The pack gathered at Titty Hill a bit late as we all arrived late because we all got lost en route!
J.M?s called us together and passed us quickly over to the Hares - Dave Enticott and Pete Colgate - with Dave beginning his sermon by telling us that he would not kid us that it was flat and dry. He then continued to say that as it was near Valentine?s Day there would be some special checks at which a heart was drawn on the ground and these would be ?girlie? checks where a yellow ribbon would be tied around an old oak tree or any other branch and if these were handed in at the end of the hash they could be exchanged for something special. Pete then proceeded to apologise for the politically incorrect name of Titty Hill and to make amends presented Louise with a pair of false boobs which were tied on to let her keep abreast of things. She said she felt a right tit! (Pete felt 2). It was also nice to see Linda (dog) back with the pack who very quickly reverted to type by chasing a deer! So, after these ceremonials we were off.
We sploshed up the first muddy track to find the first ?girlie? check (the words of the Hares not your Humble Scribe) and after the ladies had searched for the prized ribbons we found it was a back check that led, as expected uphill (the first of many). The next check had us sploshing across a muddy field and then at the next check it was Jan who selflessly ran down a steep hill to find the true trail. The checks followed the usual style of these hares, devious and warped and as expected every check had a beaming Dave saying ?Well, you were silly to go up there in the first place?. We broke from the woods and began to find ourselves running up a long road to St. Cuthberts school were after a regroup at the top Mussolini informed the hares that they had only 10 minutes to get us back. The hares obviously took this to heart and promptly ignored him and left us sploshing around some more nice trails coming out onto a beautiful view of open countryside. All of the beauty of the English countryside lay before us, rain, hills, mud and false trails . Another girlie check followed with the most obvious falsie showing a dot within yards of the check. As Susanna and Amanda the Panda had already got ribbons they were less inclined to chase the falsies and so Csilla went off in expectation only to find that yet again she had found the true trail and this time Louise had scooped the prize of the yellow ribbon. As always the trail went ON UP (How come they only ever go up and never down?) to even wetter checks. Jan?s nose began to twitch and off she went up the trail convinced she was heading for home. This time Lo and Behold she was right, as so stormed in at the front of the pack leaving husband Sinbad checking out girlie checks. The happy and muddy hashers came on in there 1?s and 2?s to find Tim Bell dry and beaming. After the runs the JM?s called the pack to order and after wishing Sue a happy 54th birthday, made the usual nominations - everybody, Dave Barclay for relieving himself in full view of the pack, your humble scribe for pushing Jenny down a hill (I thought that pushing teenagers downs hills was within hash rules), Jenny for telling her mum, Jim and James for checking out ?girlie? checks, Alan for mentioning that everybody had been included but finally the honour went to Louise for her dreadful co-driving and getting others lost on the way to the run. The yellow ribbons were then exchanged for pretty roses (yellow? Hash colours not red for Valentine?s?) Mussolini did ask if future runs could be with 11/4 hours please. A fine run enjoyed by all, congratulations to the Hares. Apres Hash drinky poo?s were taken at the Rising Sun (where they have a live parrot in the bar). Humble Scribe
PS - Mike Brown is considering a French Hash, so please make your feelings known to him