Paul Mortimer - The Mussolini Run

Run 458 - 2nd September 2001 - Heyshott Common - Mussolini and Dave Enticott

Well after a 3 week break the hash was back chomping at the bit ready for the autumn season to start. Greetings all round at the beginning as Jenny had come back from Australia to celebrate her birthday in the land of her birth (She was Jennny Warren but now it is probably Walamaloo- Ned-Kelly or some such name). As it was a Mussolini run ably assisted by Dave E wearing (showing off) a Nash Hash Hare T- shirt, the hare did the masters job and the hares job all in one go and let Jenny carry the hashit around to make her feel at home. Whispers turned up just in time to join us as did a runner who took out details for later and said he had run with the Brunei Hash. Then a passing horsewoman asked it the HHH stood for the Harting, Having Hunt or some name like that and we had to put her straight. Flies seemed to be the problem of the day with many of the pack adopting ferns to use as fly swats. It was noticed that the Cab Man did not bring along the required amount of au pairs but we let it go.
As to be expected from this pair the start itself was a falsie with eager hashers having to double back and onto the true trail at the very beginning. Heyshot is noted for its beauty, tranquillity and WET SAND. Have you ever tried running wet sand?
It never ceases to amaze me that even when we all know an area so well the hares still manage to have us running around in circles. This trail was particularly devious with many checks and back check keeping the pack together throughout the day. As your humble scribe I will of course be expected to give a precise step by step account of where we went but as I was hopelessly lost all I can say is that we seemed to keep running in circles and the hares seemed to keep appearing in front of us at every turn.
Whispers missed a brilliantly laid falsie up a viewing tower early on in the trail but then made up for it by looking for one later in the day when there was not a flasie up that particular tower.
After managing to scare some locals on horseback (the horses did not want to go past a pack of wet hashers and who could blame them?) The can Man and Doc decided that following the trail was a bit conservative and so set off cross country to find a shortcut. Being good little sheep most of us followed to be rewarded with a check shortly after. The hares turned us around a few more times until we approached what we thought was the On Inn but they still had one more trick up their sleeves and had us running across the common once again. Finally a bedraggled pack struggled in with grudging praise for the hares.
After the ceremonies we retired to the Fox and Hounds at Singleton (just because Mussolini wanted to, not because it was close).
Once there Treefeller regaled us with stories of the Nash Hash and showed us the programme where David Barclay (our own Homerun) was described as Hairbrush!! This did cause consternation among the names and nicknames committee as how can one member have two nicknames? This being so the committee
have circulated forms in triplicate to all members asking them if they approve of the Barclay name change and does Nash Hash nicknames overrule local ones. Please be sure to fill in your forms and either return them to the names committee before Saturday the 15th of September or post them to your local M.P with your comments. Must go now as such controversy gives me a headache. On On.

Humble Scribe