One of the benefits of doing your own write up is that you are sure to get a good press.
A bit like the goverenment appointing tame judges for enquiries.
Still, enough of that. After laying the trail on the Saturday we turned up to find that not one,not two, but most of the checks and dots of flour had been destroyed. We were puzzled. Not by the sheer wanton vandalisim that should be punishable by death (for a first offence) but rather by the fact that as we had left at dusk and got to the trail at 9 a.m; when and how had it been done?
However as we discovered motorcycle tracks near most of the dots and a wheel spin in the middle of a check the tale unfolded. So the pack turned up and we offered our excuses but as expected it cut no ice with this hard hearted bunch and so after Spiderman had introduced newcomer Andrea (Beetlejuice) we set them off with tales of a flat dry run and pointed them to the first hill.
Although there were those individuals who did manage a run up the hill we were surprised that many of the finely honed athletes chose to walk! Except Jim, Jan and Louise who had already run ten miles (and did not get awarded the hashit for showing off!)
The first check fooled a few but Old Faithful was bounding into the distance and on to the next check where he did the decent thing and took the wrong trail and therefore in true hash fashion ended up at the back. However, as the pack needed to do a back check, he then ended up at the front again!! With the walkers taking a separate route the pack moved along at a greater speed than usual, (well a gentle jog instead of a brisk walk) making the miles speed by.
We came upon a Gypsy encampment and the pack were exhorted not to get into any deals involving dogs or to shout cries of ‘does anybody here fancy a punch up, just for the craic?’
So back into the woods and a few more checks until we came to the last check where there three choices - 1... completely the wrong way - and yes there were one or two. 2...uphill and back towards the first trail - and yes there were one or two. Or 3 downhill. You’ve guesssed it, the pack decided to go downhill. Their efforts were rewarded and the On Inn was spotted. The pack saw the chariots and sprinted (well, nearly) for home. At the car park the JMs made a nominations citing the Ref for shortcutting..... but finally gave the hashit to Vic for clearing up the car park at the beginning with a black plastic bag. I mentioned this to the naming committee who were so impressed they said he should he be named Dustman (well all of the committee except Iain Duncan Smith who could not make up his mind). A strange thing happened then. Usually when the naming committee meet they put forward one candidate; but after hearing that Jim (Sinbad), Louise (3 star) and Jan had run 10 miles before coming to the hash it was felt that a name should be awarded to Jan for this feat. As we have Bambi and the Chamois, it would appear cloven footed names are fashionable for the Chi pack (apt). Prof. Stephen Hawkins suggested that the animal that seems to travel furthest is the Wildebeast and they all agreed, but then His Holiness The Dalai Lama pointed out that it seemed a bit posh and that Gnu meant the same thing.
The committee agreed and the deed was done. So I am a happy scribe as it always good to be the bearer of good Gnus! (groan)