A reasonable sized pack met in the car park to be introduced to a new hash member - Casper, Treefeller’s dog and then heard The Ref tell us it is long, hilly and wet!!!
True or double bluff? The pack were told to find the trail and after a couple of false starts off they went towards the Stane Street road. The first few checks fooled nobody but then the hares got tricky and sent us off into areas unknown. This is dangerous as hashers get lost even when they do know where they are so sending them down new trails is doublely dangerous.
The way seemed to be east and then upward ever upward but after a few checks nobody seemed to know where we were and so the pack felt more at home. The trial went in a large anti clockwise loop until a regroup was called to allow a few back markers to catch their breath. At the regroup there was a choice of three trails and it was not until the first two had been exhausted (along with the pack) that the third and true trail was tried.
After a couple of checks the trail disappeared. "It is there" cried the Ref but nobody believed him until flour was found carefully covering the trail and then more spots which had been deliberately kicked out. A few more covered spots and we knew for certain - sabotage!
So all of this made me wonder - what type of person gets their jollies by ruining other people’s pleasure? Well his name is Billy No-mates. He wakes up on a Sunday in fine form because he spent Saturday evening at home, alone as always, in his studio bedsit full of his 50% off MFI self assembly furniture (with real pine effect laminate) staring through the underwear section of the pay weekly catalogue and fantasising that the check-out girl at Lidl might even smile at him after his Sunday morning walk. It will be a walk alone because even a dog would not want him as a friend. So it is not surprising that when he meets a bunch of people enjoying themselves he cannot control himself any longer and resorts to vandalism.
Well the Ref did the decent thing and sent the pack in the general direction and that was enough with Mr Bean, Bambi and young Patrick keen to sniff out a trail.
The trail was found and led to a check which we knew led to the chariots but this was a bluff as we were sent back along the trail by Old Faithful giving a false clue which turned the pack around yet again. A long looping trail sent us back towards the old Roman Road of Stane Street and one more check that led into the bushes before the front runners bellowed ON IN!.
The pack saw chariots in the distance and began to dribble into the car park bathed in sweat, their athletic lithe bodies glistening in the sunlight to the envy of all the assembled ........... Sorry I got a bit carried away there. The pack trudged into the car park and gathered around a stripping Mr Bean to hear the awards for the hashit which included Karen for trying to seduce a hare and the pack as a whole for shortcutting. However Patrick received said prize for checking out every trail in an over keen and enthusiastic manner.
Apres Hash was held at The George where there was a rumour that the barman may actually smile but nothing came of it. An excellent trail laid by two wily hashers.