Late Saturday afternoon, ring ring, ring ring, "hello", "Hi Kinky here", "its too short", "what's too short?", "the hash trail, that's what", "Oh", "Yes I have just measured it, the whole route is inside one of those squares on the OS map!", "er, um, it seemed long enough when I walked around in the pouring rain last week", "I think we should add more tomorrow", "okay, but where?", "I'm not sure, let's sort it out in the morning?", "okay, see you tomorrow, bye","bye".

So at half past too early the hares found themselves wandering through undergrowth looking for a bit extra, at least it was not raining, not cold and not sunny, not anything really.

Later, the car park was very quiet, only The Ref present, when he comes, he comes really early.

By the appointed hour little had changed, just a few takers arriving at the last moment, where was everyone?. The answer soon came, as a long list of apologies was voiced, it seemed like "on holiday" was the common theme. One absentee was our JM of the female variety who was en-route but lost, she had the list of what happened on this day in history, so Kinky could not read it out, ah, what a pity.

Unfortunately Bambi is yet again only fit for walking, so was able to observe the goings on here and there along the way as the strolling route intersected the flour.

The first check at Bonney's Hanger bottom proved to be a corker with the whole pack except Snake Charmer and Splasher heading up hill on the main path to overrun the false mark and then find nothing before returning.

The trail then went south west on the edge of Astead Down and into Potcomb before U turning nor nor east back down the main path, the bottom of which had been explored earlier.

At this stage The Ref was way out in front and calling loudly, we heard him coming from a long way off.

A plunge east, down through the light brush under the canopy was next, to soon arrive at the lower bridleway and head south uphill towards Selhurstpark Road.

The check at the next crosspaths had the pack stumped, with Old Faithful trying both south, up hill and east, up hill before Pancsi took everyone west, up hill on a long falsie. Eventually someone found the trail just before the check going west up Selhurstpark Hill, through more light brush. This trail then turned south and continued through short bramble and dead leaf all the way to the western hill crest.

We next encountered the pack at the upside down Y junction at the centre of the crest with Dag up front and practicing her gurning through the frame of the Hash-it.

All that remained now was an anti clockwise loop to get round to the top of Droke Hanger and descend to the chariots, reaching the On-In after one hour and five minutes of off piste hashing.

At the small circle we could have picked on Thumper for getting lost on the way to the start, but did not. We did pick on Bambi, Dag and Spiderman, I forget why, before giving the Hash-It to Hairbrush for injuring himself, a lame excuse, boom boom.

Then off to The Fox Goes Free but everyone else must pay, where the cider was nice and cloudy, and the garden almost sunny.