The heavens opened at 10:30 but mercifully the rain cleared up a few minutes before 11:00 so the 13 of us poked our noses outside and stood around chatting – as you do. Bambi opened proceedings with a couple of lame jokes – recalling those halcyon days when Kinky was JM! Old Faithful then explained about multi-coloured sticks to be found in checks and false trail marks. And we weren’t to have duplicated colours but we could do swapsies... all clear?
Rumour had it that Snake Charmer and Splasher were still on their way so we waited a while. Then came the phone call – “We’re in Cosham. Do we head for Bedhampton?” Old Faithful soon sorted out the navigationally challenged Splasher but they were still going to take 10 minutes to arrive so the rest of us made a start with Spiderman and Thumper both volunteering to wait behind with a map of the trail to help Snake Charmer and Splasher catch up.
Two Ferrets Fighting seemed to have prior knowledge setting off to the nearest path into the Hundred Acre woods. By now the sun was out but all that earlier rain had made the tracks decidedly wet and slippery. We came to a point where the mud was spread so wide Bambi warned us to be ready to spread our legs. Spiderwoman insisted she wasn’t going to spread her legs for anybody – (bad luck, Spiderman).
A few minutes later Dag again demonstrated her firm understanding of the lores of hashing asking what a “fish hook” with the number 3 beside it meant. She was caught again a bit later on by a second fish hook for 5. At this one Pancsi refused to comply sending back the “women” (Snake Charmer and Dag) and the “bitch” (Belle) instead – how non-PC.
It was a “classic” Bambi/Old Faithful trail with many unexpected kinks and deer tracks getting most of us completely lost, and the overriding feeling of seas of mud was ever present. In the middle of the trail we had another spell of rain to top up the wetness. This caused Thumper to decide enough was enough and return to the car. A number of other hashers (including Pink Flamingo and Sinbad*) led astray by Pancsi decided to take a bit of a short-cut around the same time, putting the hares out – they like to see their trail enjoyed to the full!
In the circle there was no shortage of contenders for the hash-it: Pancsi, Dag, Splasher and Thumper for sins mentioned above; Spiderman for doing an astonishing pirouette on a log without falling over; Splasher (again) for forgetting to bring the hash-it; Hairbrush because Splasher left the hash-it in his Jaguar; Dr Blood for being stressed and pre-occupied on the trail – understandable because he’s just come back from 2 week’s skiing and work’s looming again! But, in its absence, the hash-it was awarded to Spiderwoman for being unwilling to spread her legs!
Finally the mystery of the coloured sticks was revealed with everyone being rewarded with Easter chocolate, the most rewards going to Pancsi, Two Ferrets Fighting and Dr Blood.
* It might not have been these 2 – I just wanted to mention everyone on the run!
On On ! Kinky