Hares always talk such cobblers! Apparently, according to Bambi, we had all forgotten to bring our buckets and spades for the sand-castle contest; we were all warned not to climb fences on pain of non-PC physical violence from Old Faithful, and then we were told we would need a brain at one particular point of the trail. As most of us had only half a mind to go on this run we wondered if it would be enough.
Soon the pack was widely fanning out across Lord’s Piece seeking flour and mostly finding falsies – no sign of engaged brains yet! The falsies concealed access to the most obvious way forward – south-west towards Sutton End – until Spiderman worked out the serpentine route to get there. Not many options for the next kilometre or so, so the pack started to get strung out and we called a regroup when we reached the road.
The last hares to lay a trail in these parts were Dr Blood & Pink Flamingo so I thought it would be safe to follow Pink Flamingo north from this point, but these hares had other ideas so we soon had to return and catch up the pack heading south towards Sutton. As we approached the whole pack seemed to be climbing a forbidden fence but it turned out to be a stile with a very low step.
Beyond the stile was a field of cows who made it clear they were very unhappy with our presence. Dogwhistle was especially apprehensive but most of the pack were looking for alternatives to the obvious route straight across the field. It needed some sarcastic comments from the hares to keep us moving in the right direction. Bambi pointed out that the cows were behind an electric fence... but have you seen how flimsy an electric fence is?
Before reaching safety at the end of the field, the hares had thoughtfully placed a fish-hook. This gave Prancer such a shock he managed to back into the electric fence – and that gave him an even bigger shock! Flash, The Panda, Sinbad and Kinky joined Prancer returning to the back of the pack.
Soon we ran onto the “beach” where we might have used our bucket and spade. As no-one else was stopping I suggested to Dag that we build a castle with our hands and we’d be sure to win the competition, but she didn’t want to get left behind.
If we thought the hares had been devious so far, we now reached their coup de grace: the trail led into an old quarry with a check at the far end. Before the pack were steep climbs topped by a barbed wire fence, and the fence ran back both sides round the quarry forcing a considerable retreat. All available routes seemed to be false – headless chicken time again...
I was still catching up from the previous check point where I had found myself outside the quarry fence, but as I regard short cutting as an art form not a sin and I could hear the pack calling the other side of the fence I simply carried on – the fence must end sometime I figured... Then I bumped into Old Faithful lurking furtively by a blob of flour – on the height above the quarry cul-de-sac below and only about 20 metres from the check point – ah-ha!
Back on track, but soon after this we lost flour again. A length of trail had been efficiently scrubbed out, or maybe eaten by a dog? But by now we were back on Lord’s Piece and we thought we knew where the cars were! Though when Dr Blood found the flour again it was clear that the hares wanted us to cover the whole of the area, zigzagging to and fro, before we eventually found the on-in.
In the circle Vixen was named for collecting a huge sweet chestnut in its spiky coat; Bika for using a mobile phone on trail; Dogwhistle for fear of cows; Jones for climbing a gate (though not a fence!); and Prancer for covering almost all of Lord’s Piece off trail and also for flagrant electric fence abuse, and this last earned him the hash-it.
On-on to the garden of the Cricketers and a well earned drink and nibbles.
On On! Kinky