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Est 1983 - ON PRES: Robin Low

Run    Date       Hare(s)    DescriptionMapRef1:500001:250001:10000More
8772017-08-27 11:00Foxy, Dancer, Cheesy Chips, & PrancerRacton - Monument Lane SU781093

Oh! think twice, just another hash for you and me in paradise - that sums up a morning and a landscape that was just made for us to enjoy. Perhaps not made, perhaps just existed, otherwise we have to consider the possibility of a "Maker", and we do not have time to go down that road here.

The unusual happening of a dry, warm, and sunny August Bank Holiday meant that only a small pack assembled at the roadside beneath the ruins of Racton tower. Hairbrush rambled on with something about Rolls Royce drinking a record amount of Guiness in 1955 and the four (yes four!) Hares warned of UFOs and paranormal activities in the area.

Then we set off north along The River of Death until we cocked our legs over the stile on the footpath to Lordington House with Owen and Snake Charmer at the front.

Local knowledge would tell you that this path goes directly to Walderton, however the Hares, being ignorant of the term Right of Way, took the trail west into the private woods of Lordington Copse. Luckily, no gamekeepers on guard here, perhaps because Lavender and gun smoke would make strange bedfellows.

A good time was had by all in the woods, with a pause to gather Doc Leaves for treating nettle stings, before emerging on to Monarch's way, a path once ridden by a previous Charles Prince of Wales.

Here we had a regroup where the hares had drawn flour pictures of aliens and spaceships in amongst horse ordure to reveal close encounters of the turd kind.

We headed west on the restart and soon encountered a fish hook of the four kind, which caught Bambi, The Ref, Old Faithful and Snake Charmer.

South west at Woodlands and we found ourselves thundering over dusty stubble and the rear aspect of Stansted House on the horizon with Snake Charmer, The Ref and Hairbrush doing any running, the rest having settled into a brisk walking pace in the glare of the sun.

Yet again a section of private ground to the east was used to get back into the shade of trees and head south to Monument Lane, taking in another fish hook that caught Snake Charmer, Bambi, Owen, Old Faithful and Hairbrush.

This left Spiderman at the front, who managed to get his bionic hips into a fair old rhythm as we followed him towards the old tower.

Not so fast!, a Check, and a heavy slog on the edge of a ploughed field, more private property, had to be negotiated before we were all together again in the shadow of Racton Monument. Here the Hares gave us an erudite presentation on the history of the ruin while Can Man thrashed about in the undergrowth salvaging some of the massive number of aluminium beverage containers that have been emptied and discarded by revellers who then go on to see strange manifestations, can't think why?.

Just round the corner was more alien material that strangely spelt out the words On In, after one hour and fifteen minutes of weird hashing.

At the circle Hairbrush picked on Snake Charmer and Bambi for polishing up their French, this is no longer allowed due to Brexit, and Spiderman who appeared to have most of his breakfast down the front of his shirt.

The Hash-It was given to Old Faithful for carrying space helmets, that almost look like lampshades, in the boot of his chariot.

We then popped over to The Barley Mow where, in the relaxing atmosphere of the garden, Cheesy Chips tucked in to the usual, and Hairbrush thought we were looking at the scar on his leg while all the time his flies were at well less than half mast, a manifestation of the embarrassing kind.

On – On ! Bambi.

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