Run	Date	Hare(s)	Description	MapRef	1:50000	1:25000	1:10000	More
911	2018-12-23 11:00	Flash & Panda + Festive Clobber Run!	Rowlands Castle The Green	SU733107

Who would have thought that on this damp mild morning we would be treated to the aural delight of our JMs creating a cacophony of contrapuntal choral celebration for Christmas Hashers?.

Even the dogs listened in stunned silence to the nuances of the interweaving harmonies and sagacity of the iambic pentameter.

When it was over, to shouts of "bravo!", "well done!", "WooHoo!", (but not "encore!").

Normal service was resumed as the dogs yapped and growled while the hares tried to tell us about the trail which involved some four dot Falsies, not to be explained here, to avoid you nodding off; again.

We were directed to head off West on Links Lane, so we did, and it was legit, but only as far as The Fairway where it was about turn and East and try to keep up with the Christmas Pudding, aka. Two Ferrets who was moving like her brandy was on fire.

Soon we came back to The Green via the small car park behind The Fountain, thence East on Finchdean Road, and into Stanstead Park under The Sling, now the real Hashing began.

To attempt a meaningful description of exactly where we went in the large expanse of this forest with its web of paths is way beyond Bambi’s pay grade, so what you’ll get is Hash Of The Day highlights.

Northeast at first, to a fish hook that caught OldFaithful, Dr Blood, Bambi, Vixen and The Ref. Then out on the Ride that looks South to Horsepasture Farm.

The Christmas Pudding was now complaining of overheating, "it’s getting very steamy in here" she said. Until now she has frequently been at the front, and with so many yellow shirts behind, it took little effort to imagine a pudding fleeing from the custard.

On, to the larger Ride that looks Southeast to Stanstead House and a fish hook for Two Ferrets, Bika, Bambi, Old Faithful and Pink Flamingo.

Now there was much more Shiggy about, the slimy roots lying just beneath a covering of rotting leaves threatened a wipe-out at every change of direction and most of the pack were walking in order to avoid the long wait in A and E.

Consequently we did not really need the next fish hook for eight, however we went through the motions anyway, it felt a bit like one of those Barn Dance moves, what is it called?, ah yes, the LGBTQ Gordons.

The Hares had gone to a lot of trouble to hang a little tag near some of the fou dot Checks and there was a rumour that tags meant prizes, which added to the thrill of the hunt, otherwise the pack could easily have been at the point of mutiny as we reached the seventy minute mark.

At long long last we reached The Avenue and turned West for a long long run in via that path that means an attempt at a gonad crunching low wall, to get out on to Woodberry Lane.

After one hour and thirty two minutes of tepid Hashing our spirits rose as we spied a table loaded with FREE beer and grub afar off at the other end of The Green. A sprint to end was in order to get there before the likes of Canman and Treefeller could scoff it all.

There was no sign of one JM (Prancer), who was in The Robin Hood taking analgesic ale to numb the pain of his broken leg and bruised ribs, while Vixen attempted to prise our attention from the food in order to mull over the events of the morning.

We did notice that Two Ferrets had failed to carry the Hash-It or even bring it to The Circle. In the end a nominal Hash-It was awarded to Hairbrush for the festive display that was dangling between his legs, his mum had warned him about blindness but not about turning bright red.

A big thank you to the Hares for the prizes, and a humongous thank you to Pru who provided the al fresco feast.

On – On ! Bambi.

See: track