Run	Date	Hare(s)	Description	MapRef	1:50000	1:25000	1:10000	More
979	2022-03-13 11:00	Kinky & Vixen	Southbourne Farm Shop	SU770055

Conditions were far from ideal as we gathered in the farm shop car park, with an onshore breeze carrying a spotty cold drizzle.

Not a large turnout, and there was some talk about a resurgence of the dreaded virus with hashers listing all of the friends who are currently isolating.

Plenty of fresh air circulated around us as we went through the time honoured pretence of pretending to listen to what the Hares had to say about the trail. The dogs were very much back on song as we departed, already with soggy boots and dribbly noses, that's us, not the dogs.

Very quickly we found the footpath South to Prinsted Bay, the first part of which is walled in with high garden fence panels, not very inspiring but at least calmer and drier.

Suddenly we are at the stony pebble shore and having a debate as to whether or not the trail is on the smooth sea wall or down on the ankle snapping shingle, Bambi found himself with other masochists on the foreshore as we headed West to a check at the Scout Hut.

Use of local knowledge discounted the long loop to Prinsted Point leaving the Sussex Border Path through Thornham Farm as the best bet. Accordingly some got a bit ahead of themselves, only to find a well placed fish hook that caught Snake Charmer, Bambi, Dr Blood, Bika and Slightly.

The run out from here to Thorney Road is along a narrow, and on this day, very slippery, path. Adjacent is a "water treatment plant" (it means sewerage treatment), which at all times of the year generates clouds of small black flies. They don't bite, a mercy, but as Bika found out, they can easily be breathed in, which results in extended bouts of coughing. Apparently the only cure is to swallow a spider, and then a bird, and then... well you know the rest.

On the other side of the road, there were some horses, so Bika was not stuck for the last thing he needed to swallow.

There weather was brightening as we reached Emsworth Marina, with Snake Charmer so far in front that she should have been texting "On On!" because we couldn't see her leave alone hear her. Eventually, loneliness cut in, so she decided to have an unofficial regroup by those boxy homes that are up on stilts, safe from a high tide.

This was handy for Popeye who, living not too far away, was predictably late arriving, although still wearing a heavy waterproof, looked a bit hot and bothered.

After a bit of a natter, as one does, we resumed our hashing apace, through the maze of the boatyard and out on the long millpond wall North to The Lord Raglan. What's this ?, we have lost Snake Charmer, and she has lost us. You would have thought that the dog Belle could have followed our scent, after all Hashers sometimes leave a bit of a niff.

Then she found us, after asking around at this popular spot, "has anyone seen some runners?", and receiving the reply "no, but there were some old chaps limping along over there". Thinking about this unbiased observation by members of the public, makes one wonder if we should not add a condition into our unwritten constitution, along the lines of "All Hash trails must keep the hashers within easy reach of a defibrillator".

All together again, and quite a long way from the chariots, and quite a lot of time passed, it seemed fair to assume that we would need to head East soon. And so it was, that we soon found the trail through the A259 underpass leading to a loop around Sadler's Walk, back across the road to The Sussex Brewery.

"No! you can't stop for a pint" said the Hare, I think next time a regroup at the bar should be organised.

We all know the footpath that runs South just past the pub, so it was no surprise to be racing down it and away from the alcoholic beverages. Shiggy, shiggy, more shiggy, a gap in the hedge leading to shiggy and more shiggy, even the dogs struggled, two hundred yards of slithering, sploshing, sliding, staccato striding, sapping, hell.

When it was over we crossed Thorney Road and continued into Prinsted, along the way encountering a fish hook, that caught Snake Charmer, Pancsi, Bika and Bambi.

On tarmac again in Pristed, some of the caked shiggy started to fall off and our feet felt less like clods. That's it really, just a tiny bit more of slimy path before turning North and finding the On-In after one hour and fourteen minutes of shigtastic hashing.

Bika found a hose pipe at the farm shop and gave himself and Aragorn a frigid cleanse, while we noticed that Popeye and Dr Blood were MIA.

While we waited, Bambi attempted to entertain by telling one of his favourite jokes, however all it raised was a muffled titter.

At the circle we bathed in sunshine and our attention was drawn to the state of Canman who had survived several unplanned intimate contacts with the shiggy and even a swallow dive into a stream, he resembled fully camouflaged trooper, even the brown painted face. Understandably, at his venerable age he was keen to get home and into a hot bath.

There was some other musing as to how some of the pack had managed to avoid getting even a hint of shiggy miasma about them, however in the end the Hash-It was presented to Spiderman for flagrant and unauthorised crossing of the Queen's highway.

Some walked, some cycled and some drove the hundred yards over to The Traveller's Joy for liquid refreshment, where we all found a seat in the bar and the service fully satisfied our expectations.

On – On ! Bambi

See: Spiders Track ... AND ... photos by Bambi

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