Run	Date	Hare(s)	Description	MapRef	1:50000	1:25000	1:10000	More
994	2022-10-23 11:00	Substandard & Bambi	Stoughton Inholmes Wood	SU811130

A Hash of two halves, the first half, the laying thereof, was carried out in monsoon conditions, the hares getting drenched immediately after exiting their chariots. Paths that previously had seemed amenable to the deposit of blobs of flour became streams, sweeping leaves, twigs, and anything that can float, away, far away. The sound of the deluge in the canopy made it hard even to communicate without shouting. The only positive observation that can be made is that it was at least lukewarm rain, not unpleasant on that score, if any soap had been handy it would have been tempting to lather up, rinse, and save on the astronomical cost of heating water at home.

The other half of the hash, the part where thousands of hashers arrive eager to run, saw clearing skies and warm sunshine, filling low lying spots with a light mist as water evaporated.

A few actually arrived and were greeted by a soggy Substandard and Bambi who still had water coming out of their ears and white slimy batter dribbling down their legs, well you try laying a flour trail in your shower and then see how messy you get, before you start cracking jokes about seaman Staines; at least neither of us is called Roger.

When Popeye arrived we discovered that he had found a load of empty jam jars in his recycling and filled them with some of the 47 kilos of honey his bees had gathered this year. "Help yourselves" he said, they were soon gone.

Necessarily the hares, did warn that there would be little or no trail to find, and to look on tree trunks, under toadstools, and anywhere else where it might have survived. Fed up with the hares moaning, the pack headed out West into the steamy undergrowth of Wildhams Wood, taking a deer track amongst a plethora of fresh fungi that were sprouting from dark musty earth and decaying logs as far as the eye could see.

Kinky and Snake Charmer seemed able to divine the presence of flour, leading the way, the rest following Kinky's tremendous horn, sometimes multi-tonal, he's getting better and better with his mouth and lips, he says that he practises most evenings now the nights are drawing in.

Bye and bye we found ourselves up Greatdean Bottom, where there has been good clear out of the log piles. A back check here provided a challenge until the discovery of a disused bike trail in a loop North and East over the ridge to a regroup on the Chilgrove path where we all said "Gorgonzola".

Next was a little adventure into the never before hashed (honest) Ramsden Copse where the pack reached it's "run out of steam" limit and started to walk and talk rather that squint and sprint. Luckily it was all downhill from here, even eased by the hares deciding to have mercy and cut the foray into Coldcroft Copse which would have been a copse too far.

The On-In was reached after one hour and six minutes of decidedly moist hashing.

Substandard then surprised us all with what he pulled out from the back of his battered old van, a table, chairs, beer, cider, Wotsits®, and even orange juice with a bendy straw.

The JM's really couldn't decide what to do with the Hash-It until someone noticed that Spiderman appeared to be holding his beer bottle with all the finesse of afternoon tea with the vicar, with his little pinky all erect and outstanding, so just asking for it, it was given.

There was some discussion regarding which hostelry we should visit on the way home, running down the list of possibles took a while because Splasher appears to have had differences of opinion with most of the landpersons on the way. Eventually a small number of us ended up at The Horse and Groom, where we consumed cheesy chips, ale and bawdy jokes with equal relish into the early afternoon.

On – On ! Bambi

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